I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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