And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The air taste purple.
Randomize