Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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