i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
