one might say we're banned from that church
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You pole danced in your parka.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
