haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
organizing the empties. That sober.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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