were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
