we're blogging at a bar
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
