LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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