...so i touched it.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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