somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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