Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
