grandma shit on top of the toilet
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
