I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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