At least make sure they are 18
Why
I didn't shave. On purpose
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
