That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
