So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
