Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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