Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
