Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
