it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
