I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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