just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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