Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
