Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
