wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
