im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
