I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this just has baby written all over it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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