That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
