I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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