I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
