I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
