Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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