the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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