I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
