dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
