It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
