It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
