I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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