i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
