She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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