the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
