ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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