so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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