Buhtt sex?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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