i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
