I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
