Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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