meet me or not, i'm out of control
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
