I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I AM VODKA MAN
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
